Pretend Planet Gifts

"Professor Zlata! You're just in time to be the planet Neptune!"

You too?! I go around feeling half asleep all the time also!

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

Water is discovered on the moon....

A boy dressed as a cowboy riding a stick horse encounters a stick with a cow's skull at the end lying on the ground.

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

"Jonathan! I've told you not to put your space toys in the freezer and pretend they're on the ice planet!"

He kept pretending he was going to work when he was just running errands.

Standings: Milky Way Conference

Pirate

"Take a pill in the morning, in the afternoon and at night."

Atlas working out with the earth as his exercise ball.

'You don't either have a date with Dora the Explorer!'

Uranus always gets a bad rap. Tap tap tap tap tap. What do you mean, dorkboy? I mean, no matter how mature people think they are, they always, always want to chuckle when they say "Uranus." Come on, Sadie. You know you want to smirk, even if it's in secret. What if I told you Uranus is slightly bigger than Neptune? Not chuckling! Uranus is always the butt of the joke.

Sure, Jupiter's the biggest, but I hear he uses Asteroids to build up his bulk!

'Your North Pole is wobbling - you should see a spin doctor.'

'If you want to get anywhere with girls, you gotta PRETEND to like bunnies, ponies, and kittens.'

They just found two more dark moons around Uranus. Are you winding up to some sort of sophomoric joke? No, they really do think they found two new moons there. Kind of suspicious, if you ask me. As long as I can remember, Uranus had 27 moons, and the Solar System had 9 planets, including Pluto. Now those numbers change all the time. Next thing you know, they'll be telling us we have to Uranuses. Yeah ... pretty sure you're winding up to some sort of sophomoric joke.

We interrupt today's "The Price is Right" episode to bring you breaking news … Weeks ago, the Hubble telescope spotted a rogue planet the size of Venus plummeting through the solar system on a collision course with earth. It turns out it was actually just a prank involving two very bored ISS astronauts and a grapefruit. Breaking News!!!!! Maybe we should send them to Mars after all. One of them seems to have scrawled "Around and around and around and around" all over his space suit, in crayon.

"The planet appears to be inhabitable but more like low-income inhabitable."

'I'm running away from home.'

He's very defensive about his personal space.

How the planets of the solar system are known to their friends

The Dark Side of the Moon.

'Pretend you don't notice San Andreas.'

I have a higher escape velocity than you! It has nothing to do with being clingy!

'Remember this test, Ms. Hart? Nineteen ninety. Multiple choice. You asked which of these is not a planet, and I checked Pluto...'

Mars Rover's wheels stolen.

Mars Probe 'insight' - the very last picture...

"If they find out I'm a flight attendant pretend a heart attack so we can leave early."

'He's a nice guy, but those tectonic plates of his really weird me out.'

"I don't suppose we could discuss this when my Mars isn't in opposition to your Sun?"

"It's hard to hear through all the music but I think they said something about discovering nightlife on Mars."

"Her Taurus was in opposition to my Libra."