Prescription Peeper Gifts

"... and now read the fourth line, please."

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 9.

'If you begin to feel unwell, start or stop taking aspirin...'

"Whatever doesn't kill me gives me the chance to try new prescriptions."

'You forgot you list of possible side-effects.'

'Can I trust a Doctor whose prescriptions have absolutely no side effects?'

'Can you adjust the flesh tones?'

'Wait! Tell me again about the 'excessive gas and oily discharge'?'

Man has drug cabinet labelled 'Safe Drugs' and 'Not Sure Drugs'.

'I see from your profile that you are 5ft 3, have blond hair and like red wine.'

'This prescription looks as though the doctor wrote it in Greek.'

'Particles, particles, particles.'

'Taking anti-depressants is getting me down...'

'H-m-m-mm...may cause insomnia, joint pain, nausea, dizziness, lethargy,gas, irritability, muscle ache, bloating and may nullify the initial good feeling'

Pharmacy: 'It's a miracle drug because it hasn't been taken off the market yet.'

'Take two of these after I leave the room.'

"I can't read this scribble. . . ! Just get the usual random boxes off the top shelf. . ."

'We can't go up yet - it's bucketing down!'

"What you need is a prescription. I'm giving you some...."

'These hibernation pills ought to do the trick.'

"Don't chew them. They're supposed to hatch in your intestines."

'I told you to keep quiet about not liking cats...' (Animal Rights protesters outside the house)

"Yeah, it's not cheap. But Big Pharma's depending on you."

'Got one with a smaller check?'

"Nature lover my tailfeathers...I say he's a peeping Tom!"

'There's nothing wrong with me. I just want to ask the doctor if any of these drugs I saw on TV are right for me.'

'Wow, he survived! I didn't have a clue what his doctor scribbled down when I filled that prescription.'

Pharmacist wanted. Must be able to open child-proof bottle caps & read doctor's prescriptions.

"No, Mr. Jones. It's only 20/20 vision if you read it from the seat, back there."

"Antacids, antibacterials, antibiotic, antidepressants, antispasmodics...we'd like something positive for a change."

Audubon Guide To Neighbors

'Say hello to your latest long-term prescription and please welcome it into your family of drugs.'

...All those in favour of flying to Switzerland, withdrawing out secret bank account and splitting?