Prescription Prober Gifts

School of Pharmacy and Over-the-Counter-Annex

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

"All I take anymore is mushrooms for my anxiety, ketamine for my depression, and ibuprofen for the goblins constantly eating my feet."

'If you begin to feel unwell, start or stop taking aspirin...'

"Whatever doesn't kill me gives me the chance to try new prescriptions."

"Just think of this prescription as an app for your body...with side effects."

'Jerry, The Hermans take the same pharmaceuticals we do!'

"Sometimes I wonder about what our patients have to take."

"I'm putting you on a stronger placebo."

"Sorry for the delay in fulling your prescription. Since you brought it in there has been two new side effects we have to add to the label."

"As a confirmed hypochondriac, I rely on placebos to get me through the day."

'You forgot you list of possible side-effects.'

'Mrs. Tomkins says her prescription has no side effects, so it can't be doing her any good.'

"Hey, way to go! You invented both the disease AND the cure!"

'Can I trust a Doctor whose prescriptions have absolutely no side effects?'

'As I said, the medication won't cure you, but it will make you more comfortable for the duration.'

'Are you a hypochondriac who has everything but your regular placebo isn't doing the job? Talk to your doctor about the new extra-strength placebo.'

'...The world of vitamins can be complex.'

"We need a product that works like aspirin, but is a lot more expensive to buy."

'Wait! Tell me again about the 'excessive gas and oily discharge'?'

'There's really no need for confusion. Part 95 of section 33 of Article L in your prenuptial agreement clearly states ... '

Man has drug cabinet labelled 'Safe Drugs' and 'Not Sure Drugs'.

'Will this make me feel as happy as the people in the commercial?'

"This medication doesn't have any side effects, just up-and-down effects."

'This prescription looks as though the doctor wrote it in Greek.'

'Taking anti-depressants is getting me down...'

'H-m-m-mm...may cause insomnia, joint pain, nausea, dizziness, lethargy,gas, irritability, muscle ache, bloating and may nullify the initial good feeling'

Pharmacy: 'It's a miracle drug because it hasn't been taken off the market yet.'

'It's just a side effect of the anti-anxiety medication. Try not to worry your pretty little head about it.'

"He's all red, white and blue - vitamins, aspirin and Viagra."

"We should mention a few mild side effects. If here are none at all, people will be suspicious."

'Take two of these after I leave the room.'

'Doctor Leaping Leopard's prescriptions are always impossible to read!'

"What you need is a prescription. I'm giving you some...."