Prescription Pro Gifts

Retirement and healthcare.

Glasses

"Sorry for the delay in fulling your prescription. Since you brought it in there has been two new side effects we have to add to the label."

"We're out of the 500 mg size."

"I need to see your budget proposal."

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

Doctors

Unrealistic expectations tend to lead to disappointment. . .

"You're darned RIGHT it's a serious problem! Sales people, like goldfish, grow to fit their tanks! He's got to be transferred to a bigger territory, PRONTO!"

'I think you might've over-packed. We'll only be gone for an hour.'

'Get me a hundred milligrams of Oxycontin... And pick up something for this guy while you're at it.'

"Whatever doesn't kill me gives me the chance to try new prescriptions."

"Sometimes I wonder about what our patients have to take."

Bolsonaro's Management of Covid and Climate Change

"Take 4 teaspoons of this medicine every day. . ."

"I'm putting you on a stronger placebo."

'You forgot you list of possible side-effects.'

"I can see you're concerned about the amount of medication you're taking. Let me see if I can give you something for that."

"You may believe you've been overcharged, but, remember, you're overmedicated."

'This is a very innovative proposal. It can really shake things up around here. Let's not rush into making a decision too fast. I think you should gather much more information than we need to make an informed decision.'

'A stitch in time saves a malpractice suit.'

"Take one of these every 4 hours for the side effects from your prescription."

'As I said, the medication won't cure you, but it will make you more comfortable for the duration.'

"Marry me, Virginia. My genes are excellent and, as yet, unpatented."

The secret of marriage is chemistry - he's on valium and I'm on prozac

'I'm going to prescribe a new diabetic medication. It's a bit costly. I'll start you off with fifty dollars a week.'

Business Cards.

'Our proposal didn't get the grant, but they want us to teach proposal writing.'

'I can tell this prescription is a phony. The doctor's signature is legible.'

"He's all red, white and blue - vitamins, aspirin and Viagra."

"My job is to confirm your 15 prescriptions are compatible."

'If I knew exactly where I lost his insulin - it would not be lost - would it!?!'

'...I forgot to refill my ulcer prescription.'

"I'm out of purple pills. Can I take 1 blue and 1 red instead?"