Prescription Fancier Gifts

"Fill it up, hold the cotton."

King Alfred's Daffodil's.

'Can I have a Banana-Split' without the ice-cream?'

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

'We know you have a cat.'

"What I'm prescribing is so cutting edge, even I can't pronounce it."

"Oh, we've got to nip this little trick in the bud right away."

"The narrative seems contrived."

"We have a new line of designer hedge funds...the Topiary Group."

Medical Supplies

You'll have to speak up, I can't hear a word you're saying!

'You're being unreasonable,Fred. I can't help it if your 22-pound bass slipped out of my hands.'.

The ambush.

'Cat scans are for felines. I will give your dog a pet scan.'

'Are you trying to tell me that neither of you get penalty rates for the 2 a.m feed?'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Graeae

"Number two all over but leave it shaggy on top"

'What's happened to all this money?'

'Side effects may include loss of appetite, job, home and family.'

"Now are you convinced that the tax simplification plan will work?"

'Don't worry about the side effects. You already suffer from all the side effects caused by this medication.'

Online Dog Dating

"She feeds me the same stuff every single day, yet I can't help approaching it like I have NO idea what it could possibly be!"

'...paddlecat is said to have contributed to much of the tension that exists between the two species, even today.'

'Don't give me that 'hairball' excuse again. Just admit it - you don't like my cooking!'

'KEEPING UP in practice simply means knowing which drug the FDA has withdrawn.'

'Guarding the house, bringing Master his newspaper and slippers does not require much skill, does it? Catching mice, on the other hand...'

Kittens and snake.

'Oh no, the chickens have killed another fox.'

''E's going for the 'double'!'

'Next please.'

"I can't afford to take on any new conditions at this time."

"Personally, I never take anything but aspirin."