Fortune Fancier Gifts

'I thank God every day that Great - Grandfather made the most of his peak earning years!'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

'This is the BEST well we've dug!!'

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

'I want to find out what the formula was I wrote yesterday on the blackboard and was erased by the custodian.'

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

'This New Year you will be bathed in a sea of cash!...Hand on...Sorry. This New Year you will need a flea bath for some sort of rash.'

"Mine says this relationship will never work out and I should dump you right now!"

'Come off it-she only said the guys will be fighting over us because you said we lived UNDER a boxing club!'

Melissa's Mark Prediction Service

Made all my investment decisions with a coin flip.

'The crystal ball says to buy and the 8-Ball says to sell.'

Man sees 'Palm Readings and Stock Projections' business window

"We have a new line of designer hedge funds...the Topiary Group."

Gambling on office building construction

"Trepanning for gold"

Golden Eggs.

'You're being unreasonable,Fred. I can't help it if your 22-pound bass slipped out of my hands.'.

You'll have to speak up, I can't hear a word you're saying!

'Congratulations! You've just won ten million dollars!'

'Risky? Good lord no! We're going to make a fortune!'

Oil explodes from the wishing well.

'The very name 'windfall profits' show it's an act of god.'

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

'Oh my... It looks like you have only 24 hours left to live...'

'Your life will being when all of your kids are married and the dog dies.'

Your Winning Lottery Numbers Told: 'If they are really what you say - how come you can only afford a tent?'

"Sometimes I like to think back and reminisce about tomorrow."

'I may charge a lot but you get much more through me. I'm a psychic large.'

'What's happened to all this money?'

'According to your love line, I should be calling a cop right now!'