Feline Fancier Gifts

'Cat scans are for felines. I will give your dog a pet scan.'

"The narrative seems contrived."

'We may, or may not, have cloned Schrodinger's cat.'

'So! It's you who has been scratching up my door!...'

The Lull Before the Storm

'I hear there have been a few Big Cat sightings around here.'

Treatment would eventually prove to be completely ineffective. And that for cats, being psychotic is perfectly normal.

'Next please.'

"Sure, I may shed too much...I'm not always a 'cool cat'...dirt gets tuck in my whiskers... and I don't kill my prey right away...but if someone can see past all that to my warm, loving core...they're probably close enough to scratch."

'Don't touch that -- I think it's some sort of art object.'

'What KIND of dirt do the mice have on you?'

'We know you have a cat.'

'I don't know - with all these feathers you'd think there'd be a bird in here somewhere.'

'It's the thought that counts.'

THERE IS A MOUSE IN THE HOUSE... WHERE IS THE CAT?

Cat's 'To Do' list.

"Come and see what some kid's just given us!"

'Did you make it look like a cover up?'

"You can't be too thin, too rich or too catty."

"Mom, it's horrible! Eddie really is a cat person!"

Working from home

"They need to get help for their separation anxiety."

"She feeds me the same stuff every single day, yet I can't help approaching it like I have NO idea what it could possibly be!"

A cat taunts fish with a remote control.

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Graeae

"You haven't napped until you've napped on the hood of a '57 Chevy."

"Don't even think about it."

"Oh, we've got to nip this little trick in the bud right away."

Taking the perfect photo of my cat.

Mathematical sequence

The ambush.

'Cover your eyes.'

'Nice job of sneaking the cat carrier in.'

Alleyway cat

'Don't give me that 'hairball' excuse again. Just admit it - you don't like my cooking!'