Canine Fancier Gifts

Online Dog Dating

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

Canine obidience class: 'He wouldn't budge from the armchair.'

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

'Hey, Baby! How would you like to kiss the frog formerly known as 'Prince'?'

"Man! That squirrel was jacked!"

'Another blond hair! You've been making a lot of night calls lately...'

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Two men toting a dog in a carriage by foot, while the dog sticks his head out the window.

'Try the steak tartare...it's okay.'

"What's all this?"

This is Giselle, our bichon frise, and Fred, our legacy pet.""This is Giselle, our bichon frise, and Fred, our legacy pet."

'Can I have a Banana-Split' without the ice-cream?'

'We know you have a cat.'

Dog Park Zoom

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

'I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid that's inappropriate.'

"Oo, I get to write a memo! I'm excited! I'm excited!"

'Have you tried out new Labrador Retriever Butt Scent?'

'I can see the practical side of fetching, but what's the point of rolling over?'

A skinny dog drawn with zen brush.

Being able to digest news quickly is a sure sign of intelligence.

Dog Sees Only Food

Keep it on until he's gone. They still think we're extinct.

"Oh, we've got to nip this little trick in the bud right away."

"Watch his feet - if he doesn't step into the throw, he's going to fake it."

"The narrative seems contrived."

"We have a new line of designer hedge funds...the Topiary Group."

"I think what he's trying to tell you, dear, is that he doesn't quite care for the cheaper dog food!"

"And everything from my dig is brought here where it's identified, classified, interpreted, and the eaten."

'He's a very superior dog. Even his fleas have pedigrees!'