Fraud Fancier Gifts

'What's happened to all this money?'

'Hey, Baby! How would you like to kiss the frog formerly known as 'Prince'?'

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

'We know you have a cat.'

Big finger print trying to forge a cheque but he can't.

"Oh, we've got to nip this little trick in the bud right away."

'You realize, of course, that that's the fifth 25 stake we've now sold in our entertainment division.'

Keep it on until he's gone. They still think we're extinct.

"I'm Bobby. If you like the lemonade, perhaps you'd like to invest in the 'Jimmy's Lemonade' franchise, listed in NASDAQ..."

"The narrative seems contrived."

"We have a new line of designer hedge funds...the Topiary Group."

The ambush.

"Yes, we're a letterbox company. How can I help you?"

'Cat scans are for felines. I will give your dog a pet scan.'

Bernard Madoff's House Arrest.

'You got a search warrant?'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Graeae

'If you're alone in here, who just said 'Ribbit'?'

"It seems I'm having some credibility issues."

Online Dog Dating

'Don't give me that 'hairball' excuse again. Just admit it - you don't like my cooking!'

'Guarding the house, bringing Master his newspaper and slippers does not require much skill, does it? Catching mice, on the other hand...'

'We did it, Dad! We won the heaviest frog award!'

'Uh-Oh... I better watch my legs! There comes a cook - o - dile!'

Fraud Squad

"I think it's just human nature to set up a private special purpose business entity to conceal balance sheet transaction in order to maximize an earnings forecast."

"She feeds me the same stuff every single day, yet I can't help approaching it like I have NO idea what it could possibly be!"

"The research proves tall rats are more confident than short rats. At least I think it does. I've never been good at this."

'Oh no, the chickens have killed another fox.'

'Next please.'

"...and then the heroic young investor managed to capture the evil high interest rate monster and wrestled him down until he was a mere 5.25%!"

'No, they won't have kittens. They are brother and sister.'

'I don't know - with all these feathers you'd think there'd be a bird in here somewhere.'

"You haven't napped until you've napped on the hood of a '57 Chevy."

Frogs french-kissing a princess.