Foul Ball Fancier Gifts

'Look at the foul ball I caught at the baseball game last night.'

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

'This has all the makings of a fable. But first lets take lots of tests.'

Alternative fielding positions

"Why is there so much emphasis put on our stupid race?" "I think people are more interested in it as a metaphor than as an actual race." "Slow and steady wins the race, that sort of thing." "That would explain why I always lose..." "Bartender, another please." "Maybe you should slow down." "You never learn do you?"

Mouse is doctor to lions with thorns in paws.

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

'I hate bloody football! It's just a bunch of over-rated, overpaid nancy boys kicking a b-' - 'Genuine football fans may leave work early to avoid missing the start of important World Cup fixtures.' - 'C'mon England!'

'I'll place the bets. You just be sure to hit the hare with the tranquilizer.'

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

'If you're out and about today don't forget the pith helmet.'

"After the big race, the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."

Hare tells tortoise: 'Remembe the plan: on the final stretch, you go down.'

"It's all show-as soon as Marks gone he switches off the football and reads Proust..."

"They're perfect astronauts. Fast velocity followed by a long, slow pace."

Pigeon Memos

"Same hectic routine every damn year. Mind if I hang back with you?"

Servant running after a couple dressed up for a fancy ball with the door-key

Androcles, the Lion, and Sid, health insurance auditor.

' Sheesh! I think people are getting tired of hearing those fables of Aesop's

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

Scrabble with the Hares and Tortoise

Justice for a heckler.

"Inside you there are two wolves..."

'What's happened to all this money?'

'Then, one day a kid yelled, 'Man, look at that ugly duck with the long neck and the black mole over it's beak.'. To think I spent years parading around thinking I was a swan.'

Aesop's Fables: The Fox and the Crow

We contend that the boy cried wolf too many times, leaving my client no choice but to eat him.

Yes, I am slow, but my life expectancy is way longer than yours, so I can still achieve a lot in life...

The Tortoise and the Herring. Triathlon. I always knew that I'd pass him after the swimming portion of the race.

L.A.: Still No Pro Football

'After the big race the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."

"It seems I'm having some credibility issues."

"I was NOT huffing and puffing - it's just allergies."

"Never eat a mouse who has medical skills."