Foul Play Fan Gifts

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

'What's that funny smell?'

'That's not what it looked like in the shop...' - 'It's near enough.'

The Rugby Throw Up.

You naughty kittens, you lost your mittens? Now you shall have a pie.

'Your direction is good! Now try for distance.'

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

'I'd do better if I knew all the words you know!'

It's a tradition. On hole number 1 in the first round of the season, Ernie always says that's the best shot I've hit this year!

"It's all show-as soon as Marks gone he switches off the football and reads Proust..."

'I had three catches dropped today.' - 'Yes, but the were dropped by spectators in the stand.'

Discus accidents.

'Grown-ups sure make playing a lot of work.'

"Man's best friend with benefits"

"Sit! Heel! Stay! Give me the darn ball!!" "Ball dogs – bad idea"

A man holding a golf club eying up his shot

As technology improves, clowning sheep is becoming more common.

Caddy With A Cool Box

'So if it goes to the right it's a slice, to the left it's a hook...and down the center.'

'... all you have to say is QUACK, QUACK, QUACK! (colour)

'I think we'd better work on that swing.'

Rory McIlroy

I have to let you go, Dobson. I've just found out you were hired because of a computer error.

'I suspect your problem isn't stress related, right?'

"I don't care what they say - it isn't the best medicine!"

'Of course we charge triple!'

'Do you think it's possible that you provoked the defendant, somehow?'

'What? Do I have something stuck between my teeth? You're giving me a funny look.'

"You're not stepping on it right."

I've had a fantastic round, I've even got a ball left over!

Clown Cowboy:'DRAW!'

"That's not a haboob. It's Ed trying to get his ball out of a bunker."

Women Golfers

'I'm doing a book about my life, called 'I, Clown'.'

"I'm going to bed, I have an early tee time tomorrow."