Fraud Fancier T-Shirts

'What's happened to all this money?'

'Hey, Baby! How would you like to kiss the frog formerly known as 'Prince'?'

'We know you have a cat.'

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

Big finger print trying to forge a cheque but he can't.

"Oh, we've got to nip this little trick in the bud right away."

'You realize, of course, that that's the fifth 25 stake we've now sold in our entertainment division.'

"I'm Bobby. If you like the lemonade, perhaps you'd like to invest in the 'Jimmy's Lemonade' franchise, listed in NASDAQ..."

"The narrative seems contrived."

"We have a new line of designer hedge funds...the Topiary Group."

"Yes, we're a letterbox company. How can I help you?"

The ambush.

'Cat scans are for felines. I will give your dog a pet scan.'

Bernard Madoff's House Arrest.

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Graeae

'If you're alone in here, who just said 'Ribbit'?'

'You got a search warrant?'

"I think it's just human nature to set up a private special purpose business entity to conceal balance sheet transaction in order to maximize an earnings forecast."

'Don't give me that 'hairball' excuse again. Just admit it - you don't like my cooking!'

'Guarding the house, bringing Master his newspaper and slippers does not require much skill, does it? Catching mice, on the other hand...'

'Uh-Oh... I better watch my legs! There comes a cook - o - dile!'

'We did it, Dad! We won the heaviest frog award!'

"She feeds me the same stuff every single day, yet I can't help approaching it like I have NO idea what it could possibly be!"

Fraud Squad

Online Dog Dating

"The research proves tall rats are more confident than short rats. At least I think it does. I've never been good at this."

'Oh no, the chickens have killed another fox.'

'Next please.'

"...and then the heroic young investor managed to capture the evil high interest rate monster and wrestled him down until he was a mere 5.25%!"

'No, they won't have kittens. They are brother and sister.'

"You haven't napped until you've napped on the hood of a '57 Chevy."

'I don't know - with all these feathers you'd think there'd be a bird in here somewhere.'

Frogs french-kissing a princess.

Treatment would eventually prove to be completely ineffective. And that for cats, being psychotic is perfectly normal.