Prenup Navigator Gifts

'I'm having a hard-time unwinding during the prenup process.'

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"She signed a prenup promising not to eat me and then ate the lawyer."

'Keep pumping Mildred.'

Birthing Ball

KEEP YOUR FRIENDS CLOSE AND YOUR ENEMIES CLOSER, 'That kind of thinking leads to marriage.'

'He's not the man I married. In fact, none of them are.'

My wife is the inspiration behind the light speed spaceship - the longer I'm married, the more I want to be the first human who lives on Mars.

'So who gets the apple tree and who gets the fig leaves?' 'The First Prenuptial Agreement.'

'Last week I got a lovely watch for my wife!'

'We blow hot and cold. He argues it's too hot and I say it's too cold.'

'Now that looks like a guy I could go through a prenup process with.'

'Everyone does divorces, Mrs.Dawson.'

Cyber Fight

"You have superior extra ocular muscle strength - how often do you roll your eyes at your husband?"

"Honey, wake up! I just remembered something you did that annoyed the hell out of me!"

"This is one of those things you should share before marriage."

'Disappointed? You ask if I'm disappointed? Well, Arthur, after 38 years of patiently peeling away one onion layer after another, I'll admit I HAD hoped there was something more that a tough, green sprout-thingie at your core!'

'It's another special interest call senator - your wife!'

'I'm sure this is the right exit .'

"Do you realize that by signing this you're entitled to nothing my client has accumulated before he met you?" "Yes."

'Our marriage is like a one-way street, and I'm behind him, honking my horn...'

"We have had a great year but we've also raised the bar for next year."

"I never realized trying to have a baby would mean replacing the soft music and candlelight with an ovulation strip, a thermometer, and a starter pistol."

The wedding.

'See, it's right here in the prenup. Just because I rise, it doesn't necessarily mean I have to shine.'

'There's really no need for confusion. Part 95 of section 33 of Article L in your prenuptial agreement clearly states ... '

'Well you've finally driven me here.'

"Stop tensing your abdominals!"

'Doctor, I just can't seem to relate to my prenup anymore.'

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

'Stand up straight!'