Prenup Ponderers Gifts

Adverse Prenup

"You propose to me and now you want me to sign a prenup!?"

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

'I had considered a career as an offshore commodities broker specialising in securitised asset transfers but the pension wasn't as good.'

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

"If we take a late retirement and an early death, we'll just squeak by."

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

"She signed a prenup promising not to eat me and then ate the lawyer."

"The industry has agreed to take the pensions dashboard off our hands. . ."

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

"The pension crisis prompted me to consider alternative invstments. Like Roulette."

Retirement Issues

"We're studying the legal principles of 'crossing a heart and hoping to die'."

"I'm your surrogate mother, son. I just provided the oven."

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

"The real trick will be enjoying retirement long enough before the Government goes belly up."

'I re-invested what was left of my 401K into returnable pop cans. I figure by the time I retire I should have about three dollars.'

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

"Walter Thruggins, My Life as a Pensions Adviser."

'Sorry I can't pay your pension until I see gray hair. . . Oh yes, and you also get disability.'

'Now that looks like a guy I could go through a prenup process with.'

'At last you can put your feet up and concentrate on worrying about your pension.'

'The money you've saved to last through your old age is gone and, h-hh-m...you're still here!'

A baby marks time on the walls of the uterus.

"Do you realize that by signing this you're entitled to nothing my client has accumulated before he met you?" "Yes."

"If we want to get across our warnings about the dire consequences of not saving for a future then we need powerful dramatic message!"

'Congratulations. Your old bloated 401K is now valued as a lean, mean 199F!'

'I'm new here. What type of retirement plan do they offer?'

"You can afford to retire at 65, but you'll need to die at 70."