Prenup Ponderers Pillows

Adverse Prenup

"You propose to me and now you want me to sign a prenup!?"

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'I had considered a career as an offshore commodities broker specialising in securitised asset transfers but the pension wasn't as good.'

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

"If we take a late retirement and an early death, we'll just squeak by."

"She signed a prenup promising not to eat me and then ate the lawyer."

'Retirement is OK, but instead of looking forword to weekends, I'm working at McDonalds.'

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

"I can only give you country walks in springtime and a hand to hold when leaves begin to fall. It's in the prenuptial agreement. Check it out."

"The industry has agreed to take the pensions dashboard off our hands. . ."

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

"The pension crisis prompted me to consider alternative invstments. Like Roulette."

Star Trek-the Older Generation. . .

"I'm your surrogate mother, son. I just provided the oven."

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

Retirement Issues

"We're studying the legal principles of 'crossing a heart and hoping to die'."

'I re-invested what was left of my 401K into returnable pop cans. I figure by the time I retire I should have about three dollars.'

"The real trick will be enjoying retirement long enough before the Government goes belly up."

"Walter Thruggins, My Life as a Pensions Adviser."

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

'Now that looks like a guy I could go through a prenup process with.'

'Sorry I can't pay your pension until I see gray hair. . . Oh yes, and you also get disability.'

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, I am a 24-year-old man. The woman I am about to marry is having second thoughts because she believes that we are too young. What do you think? - Jacob. Actual reader letter. Great question. When is the right time to marry? Randy, our commitment expert, would you like to handle this one? Jacob, really, what were you expecting?! Medic! Randy's not moving.

'At last you can put your feet up and concentrate on worrying about your pension.'

'I'm new here. What type of retirement plan do they offer?'

A baby marks time on the walls of the uterus.

"Do you realize that by signing this you're entitled to nothing my client has accumulated before he met you?" "Yes."

'The money you've saved to last through your old age is gone and, h-hh-m...you're still here!'

'Congratulations. Your old bloated 401K is now valued as a lean, mean 199F!'