Prenup Pragmatist Pillows

'The answer is yes - I'll sign your pre-nuptial agreement.'

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

Drive-thru Church

"She signed a prenup promising not to eat me and then ate the lawyer."

"I hope you love me for my money, not for who I am."

'The tests are pretty conclusive, Mrs. Kane. It's going to be a brat.'

'So who gets the apple tree and who gets the fig leaves?' 'The First Prenuptial Agreement.'

'Now that looks like a guy I could go through a prenup process with.'

Put it in writing!

"What would I suggest for a woman who has everything...a prenup!"

"Do you realize that by signing this you're entitled to nothing my client has accumulated before he met you?" "Yes."

Hazardous Wastes R Us.

'See, it's right here in the prenup. Just because I rise, it doesn't necessarily mean I have to shine.'

"Thirty years of accounting and I haven't had one 'happy accident.'"

'Marry me, Linda. Two can live more cheaply than one.'

'I don't care how much you interfaced, interacted, coordinated, arranged, or organized in the past. Just tell me how many prenups you've worked on.'

"Do you have anything that declares my undying love, but with a six month get out clause if it doesn't work out!"

'Doctor, I just can't seem to relate to my prenup anymore.'

"Darling, how wonderful ...a prenup!"

"It's our first anniversary, so I've written up your performance review...."

'My lab partner wants a prenuptial agreement!'

'There was no nasty surprise: The prenuptial agreement my wife made me sign clearly stated I would take care of the kids...'

"I lined it up with our prenup."

'I'm having a hard-time unwinding during the prenup process.'

Why did you think the prenup lawyer gave me such a good deal?

'Do I have to fetch the newspaper? -- Peter Hitchens always leaves a bad taste in my mouth!'

"You propose to me and now you want me to sign a prenup!?"

Survivalists' supplies: The customer's always right wing.

'Should we exchange stock portfolios before deciding who pays for the prenup lawyer?'

"I'm looking for a card that says 'You're one step closer to the grave', but in a humorous way."

The tunnel of ulterior motives

Adverse Prenup

Sure he's got a good reputation, but he'd clash with most of my outfits.'

'I'm sorry, Walter, but marriage doesn't have portable benefits.'