Prenup Ponderer Pillows

Why did you think the prenup lawyer gave me such a good deal?

"She signed a prenup promising not to eat me and then ate the lawyer."

"I lined it up with our prenup."

'Oh, that single page is your prenup's first draft. This stack here is it after your suggested changes.'

'Doctor, I just can't seem to relate to my prenup anymore.'

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

'In this next precedent, an attorney lost his frivolous lawsuit complaint and his opponent then filed a frivolous 'frivolous lawsuit' lawsuit.'

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

'I say we try it.'

"I'll have dessert first."

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

"I'm your surrogate mother, son. I just provided the oven."

"We're taking separate vacations this year."

'You'll be going on a long journey this Christmas.'

Retirement Issues

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

'He's always looking for an argument!'

"We're studying the legal principles of 'crossing a heart and hoping to die'."

'Have you found a precedent? Yes, you did the same crime in 1974.'

The End is Near.

"The real trick will be enjoying retirement long enough before the Government goes belly up."

'I re-invested what was left of my 401K into returnable pop cans. I figure by the time I retire I should have about three dollars.'

'Sorry I can't pay your pension until I see gray hair. . . Oh yes, and you also get disability.'

A self-filling prophecy.

"Walter Thruggins, My Life as a Pensions Adviser."

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"