Marriage Pragmatist Pillows

'Darling...a prenup how wonderful!'

Marriage least expected to last...

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

Is man a social animal? - 'As a married man, the short answer is no.'

The Sleeping Congregation.

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

"No, no - that's not the company sales, that's my marriage."

'We're looking for a minister who recognizes that relationships have a built in obsolesces.'

How's your marriage working out? I'm considering the foreign legion...but I doubt whether they'll take her.

"You don't have to say anthing, but anything you do say may later be used in court by a divorce lawyer."

"Will you sign a legally binding contract to get the state involved if you ever decide to leave me?"

'The tests are pretty conclusive, Mrs. Kane. It's going to be a brat.'

"Now that that's over, let me tell you what I'm really like"

"The Tudballs got married by a judge. I still say a jury should have been present!"

Cards: Wedding / You've Changed / You don't Understand Me / I'm Leaving! / I'm going for a pint!

You are cordially invited...

A Man Visits A Doctor To Ask About Marriage.

'Nobody really agrees about what marriage is these days, so I'll just say 'Yadda yadda yadda.''

"She's high maintenance. I love her."

"Take one of these every 4 hours for the side effects from your prescription."

'One thing I need clarified: if we marry in church, is there any point in a pre-nuptial agreement?'

Stay Tuned

Marriage Exit Strategy

"If I get married, will that count as a capital gain?"

"Look—let's just get past today, O.K.?"

"Martha, are you sure you're not marrying me for money?"

"The main, unchangeable principal that I use in life is to be pragmatic."

Marriage Guidance - Give and Take

"OK, let's go to contract."

Hazardous Wastes R Us.

'I'm switching to another provider,dear.'

'Hi, Mom. Meet my new significant other. My Prenup'