Marriage Pragmatist T-Shirts

'Darling...a prenup how wonderful!'

Marriage least expected to last...

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

Is man a social animal? - 'As a married man, the short answer is no.'

The Sleeping Congregation.

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

"No, no - that's not the company sales, that's my marriage."

'We're looking for a minister who recognizes that relationships have a built in obsolesces.'

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

How's your marriage working out? I'm considering the foreign legion...but I doubt whether they'll take her.

"Will you sign a legally binding contract to get the state involved if you ever decide to leave me?"

"You don't have to say anthing, but anything you do say may later be used in court by a divorce lawyer."

'The tests are pretty conclusive, Mrs. Kane. It's going to be a brat.'

"Now that that's over, let me tell you what I'm really like"

Cards: Wedding / You've Changed / You don't Understand Me / I'm Leaving! / I'm going for a pint!

A Man Visits A Doctor To Ask About Marriage.

"The Tudballs got married by a judge. I still say a jury should have been present!"

You are cordially invited...

Stay Tuned

"Like the old saying goes, when the cat's away, the mouse better not do anything that'll get him choked out when the cat gets back."

"Look—let's just get past today, O.K.?"

"Martha, are you sure you're not marrying me for money?"

"If I get married, will that count as a capital gain?"

Marriage Exit Strategy

'Nobody really agrees about what marriage is these days, so I'll just say 'Yadda yadda yadda.''

'One thing I need clarified: if we marry in church, is there any point in a pre-nuptial agreement?'

"Take one of these every 4 hours for the side effects from your prescription."

"She's high maintenance. I love her."

"The main, unchangeable principal that I use in life is to be pragmatic."

Marriage Guidance - Give and Take

"OK, let's go to contract."

Hazardous Wastes R Us.

"....After 'So long as we both do live', we'd like to ass 'or we get fed up with each other'."

What would John Dewey say?