Romantic Pragmatist T-Shirts

Pre-nuptial Agreement: 'Hang on, I'll carry you over the threshold next.'

"It's our first anniversary, so I've written up your performance review...."

The tunnel of ulterior motives

'I might be more receptive to your marriage, proposal, Bob, if you didn't refer to it as a takeover bid.'

'I'm sorry, Walter, but marriage doesn't have portable benefits.'

'Marry me, Linda. Two can live more cheaply than one.'

"The emoji she used says she loves me..."

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

'He's a catch for any woman - there's so much to re-mould'

Drive-thru Church

"Why won't you cuddle?"

"Of all the wet cement, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks in mine."

"Oh darling! I just got your wonderful value added proposition! Of course I'll marry you!"

'It would never work, Tommy - you have all the growth funds and mine are all value...'

"Well, at first I didn't like him. But then his creepiness just grew on me."

Mergers or acquisitions.

'And that, in a nutshell, is why men don't understand women.'

"Helen, is it possible that we are using our child as an intimacy barrier?"

Single girl in wedding dress trying to catch a bachelor.

"But gosh, Ursula, together we'd be exactly what every major advertiser is trying to reach."

Two minds but with a single thought.

"We need to talk. Here - it's all in this 342-slide power point."

The Return of Tannhauser to Venusberg

'You're in luck - My parents like you.'

'I'm thinking merger.'

'What does the Scout manual say about this situation?'

'We tried marriage your way and it didn't work. Now it's my way!'

"...Also, true love is eventually tax deductible."

Put it in writing!

'I hate to rush you, but I'm getting a leg cramp.'

"Tonight we'll make love in the shadows of the great pyramids."

"Maybe marriage is what I need, Gregorio. Sometiems I wonder if I'm living my life for other people...instead of living life for myself."

'I'm just looking for a committed relationship. I'm sick of all the games.'

"I don't know if I've mentioned this before, Greg, but you are a very attractive man."

'I've lost that loving feeling...'