Prenup Navigator T-Shirts

'I'm having a hard-time unwinding during the prenup process.'

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"She signed a prenup promising not to eat me and then ate the lawyer."

'Keep pumping Mildred.'

Birthing Ball

"I can only give you country walks in springtime and a hand to hold when leaves begin to fall. It's in the prenuptial agreement. Check it out."

'He's not the man I married. In fact, none of them are.'

KEEP YOUR FRIENDS CLOSE AND YOUR ENEMIES CLOSER, 'That kind of thinking leads to marriage.'

My wife is the inspiration behind the light speed spaceship - the longer I'm married, the more I want to be the first human who lives on Mars.

'So who gets the apple tree and who gets the fig leaves?' 'The First Prenuptial Agreement.'

Sadie, we need to see a couple's counselor. Yuck. No way! I won't spend a bunch of dough to have some halfwit tell me how to live my life! But I found an inexpensive counselor who will just listen to us talk through our issues. Counseling $10. This end up.

'Last week I got a lovely watch for my wife!'

'Everyone does divorces, Mrs.Dawson.'

Cyber Fight

'We blow hot and cold. He argues it's too hot and I say it's too cold.'

'Now that looks like a guy I could go through a prenup process with.'

"You have superior extra ocular muscle strength - how often do you roll your eyes at your husband?"

"Honey, wake up! I just remembered something you did that annoyed the hell out of me!"

"This is one of those things you should share before marriage."

'Disappointed? You ask if I'm disappointed? Well, Arthur, after 38 years of patiently peeling away one onion layer after another, I'll admit I HAD hoped there was something more that a tough, green sprout-thingie at your core!'

The wedding.

Your Uncle Mort and Sadie are back from Canada. Are they still getting married? Yeah, but they're slowing things down. They're going to talk to someone about their problems. A counselor is always a good idea. They couldn't exactly afford a professional. He doesn't put the bathroom seat down.

"I do too spark joy!"

'I'm sure this is the right exit .'

"We have had a great year but we've also raised the bar for next year."

'Our marriage is like a one-way street, and I'm behind him, honking my horn...'

"I never realized trying to have a baby would mean replacing the soft music and candlelight with an ovulation strip, a thermometer, and a starter pistol."

'It's another special interest call senator - your wife!'

"Do you realize that by signing this you're entitled to nothing my client has accumulated before he met you?" "Yes."

'See, it's right here in the prenup. Just because I rise, it doesn't necessarily mean I have to shine.'

'There's really no need for confusion. Part 95 of section 33 of Article L in your prenuptial agreement clearly states ... '

"Stop tensing your abdominals!"

'Stand up straight!'

'Well you've finally driven me here.'

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'