Prenup Planner Gifts

"Do you realize that by signing this you're entitled to nothing my client has accumulated before he met you?" "Yes."

'Should we exchange stock portfolios before deciding who pays for the prenup lawyer?'

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

Mr. & Mrs. Stickfigure are expecting twins.

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

"Please, James...will you stop worrying whether the baby will meet all government regulations!"

Baby name suggestions.

"After the whole history of human evolution, you'd have thought a bigger birth canal would have developed!"

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

Baby in womb chooses from multiple choice pregnancy symptoms...

"She signed a prenup promising not to eat me and then ate the lawyer."

"I didn't realise it could be so complicated!"

"I can only give you country walks in springtime and a hand to hold when leaves begin to fall. It's in the prenuptial agreement. Check it out."

"We've gone old fashioned and decided against finding out the sex of my obstetrician."

"I hope you love me for my money, not for who I am."

'I can't say what the market's going to do, but you're going to have fourteen children.'

'Darling, how romantic...a pre-nup.'

'This is boring. This uterus could sure do with a fast forward button.'

Please take a number.

'Good news dear, the doctor says we're going to have twins.'

"May I remind you that our prenuptial agreement called for me to take the plants?"

'So who gets the apple tree and who gets the fig leaves?' 'The First Prenuptial Agreement.'

"Are we there yet?"

"Ironically, this all started with a little poke on Facebook."

'Now that looks like a guy I could go through a prenup process with.'

"We can make you more pregnant than you ever though possible."

'I don't get it! Not one of these books gives the same advice TWICE!

"I hate to be a dream snatcher but your baby is going to be just average."

"I trust I don't get them mixed up. The midwife will be weraing a badge. Mum will be wearing a sigh of relief."

"I have to confess a sin, Preacher. I went premarital shopping."

"Pre-nups are healthy for a relationship. It's good for our lawyers to get to know one another."

"Just for variety, Doc, next time let's insert the embryos doggy style."