Prenatal Navigator Gifts

Birthing Ball

"Remember, pregnancy is like taking an exciting thrill ride at an amusement park only the seats are larger."

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

"Oh, Mrs. Horris, he just said his first words..!"

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

A Preschool of Fish

'The dripping keeps me awake!'

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies

"My inner child feels threatened by my inner baby."

"Funny, I don't remember signing up for this."

'How many fingers do you see?'

"Why, Mr. Larsen! We were about ready to give up on you."

'And you're sure you handed the baby to me?'

'I almost get out the door and then my mom yells...'Don't you know it's February?!' And here I am again...looking like an eskimo.'

Daisy Diaper Service

'You can go home today, but we'd like to run a few more tests on your husband.'

'I didn't get the Owners Manual. I thought you got the Owners Manual.'

"You're six years old and I'm your mother! - I'm SUPPOSED to impose my moral standards on you!"

'Our computer responds to voice commands, but our kids don't.'

'We are considering a nursery expansion.'

"There's got to be an easier way to lie around the house."

'Turn everything off...we've sprung a leak!'

Mono-Tasking, Multi-Tasking, No-No Tasking and Nada Tasking.

Number Phobia.

"You mentioned separation anxiety. Don't worry, she'll be all right."

"...Mom, can you get me a glass of wine?"

"I think this end is loaded."

'No offence. The other breast and I seemed to click.'

"I couldn't find the off switch."

'Sleeping like a baby'

"It took some figuring, but I think I figured out how to handle a temperamental teenager."

"ADHD is a chronic condition marked by an inability to focus attention for an extended perio. . ."