Premiere Attendee Gifts

Star Wars Audience

"Toi Toi Toi!"

Piano Recital

"Hugh fans!"

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

'I chose my field on what would put the most impressive initials after my name.'

Opening night at the circus: "How's everyone's jitters?"

"Whisky? Have you got anything stronger?"

Armless chainsaw juggler.

"I wasn't kidding when I said my first movie, Aztec Warriors of the Moon, made a mint -- here it is."

"You only get one chance to make a great exhaustion."

'If you'll excuse me, I'm going to work the room.'

"Larry, stop signing your memos with your initials. No one takes them seriously."

"They all seem to be playing a different song!"

"Can you start the interview without me? I'll be in as soon as I finish my resume."

"Of course I Love You For Your Mind."

"May the good Lord bless this Town Council for the revival of our religious invocations. We thank Thee in the name of Jesus Christ!"

"I'm sorry-this is literally my first rodeo."

Manager: 'EXCELLENT promoting Jan! It's another RECORD crowd!'

'Great Resume. Possibly your best ever.' A first impression is very important, no matter how many tries it takes.

'My agent told me to bring some arm candy.'

"I..I've forgotten my line! Please read forward and return to me later!"

Another opening, another show!

"Why do you have to come? Because I went to your Super Bowl, that's why."

A Concert Audience - A Typical Layout.

'Before you have your job interview I'll touch up your roots.'

'Any more hecklers out there? No? OK. Hey, what's the deal with prison food?'

'He wants us to wake him when something comes on that's aimed at his demographic.'

"They're not happy about it, but we made a scheduling error and the customers are expecting a drag brunch."

"Try this one. It's a first edition."

'I don't mind reunions, but where have you been since last year?'

'We ran out of cups.'

An audience with an audience!