Devout Attendee Gifts

"May the good Lord bless this Town Council for the revival of our religious invocations. We thank Thee in the name of Jesus Christ!"

Star Wars Audience

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

Mass Travel

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

'He hasn't missed a turnout in ten years!'

Attendees Anonymous

'This sermon will run a little longer because it's a sermon about sermons that run a little long.'

'Oh, oh! They're going to give it to us with both barrels!'

Little guy using telescope to see past a big guy blocking his view in the crowd,

"I couldn't actually see the band but here's a photo of them on the person in front of me's phone."

'Good Book?'

"They all seem to be playing a different song!"

"We moved to the sea to get away from the crowd, only to find they'd moved to the sea."

'I think I see why attendance has been down.'

'So, read any good book lately?'

"Hello! Go ahead, Syracuse, New York."

"Why do you have to come? Because I went to your Super Bowl, that's why."

"I think you should all consider yourself very fortunate to be here considering how few seats there are for this event."

A Concert Audience - A Typical Layout.

Walker Supporters Descend On Protesters At Madison, Wi.

Sample ballot

'Any more hecklers out there? No? OK. Hey, what's the deal with prison food?'

"They're not happy about it, but we made a scheduling error and the customers are expecting a drag brunch."

'He gets like that at these out of town conventions.'

'I don't mind reunions, but where have you been since last year?'

'We should have called weeks ago.'

'First step is the hardest. You've got to admit that you don't have a problem.'

Security guard disperses football team.

'This place got Wi-fi?'

"You know how some people feel naked without jewelry? Stewart is like that without a remote."

'A wide wide'

"Oh, that one's mustard from lunch."