Devout Listener Gifts

"Hello! Go ahead, Syracuse, New York."

"If you hold a shell to your ear you can hear the ocean..."

Hey, it's true, you really can hear the sea in these shells!

Try me/try me/try me...

'Not even close man - easy listening's around the corner.'

'You are a very good nurse. You're actually listening to what I'm saying.'

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

Mozart's very good, but can't beat Rossini for sandbox activities.

Clive Anderson

'Hello, Pastor Parker here. Thank you for calling moral support. Your call may be monitored to ... '

Broccoli: Just Full of Surprises!

Attention Span Man

'I'd like to think they contribute because it's the right thing to do, but I'm not above a short sermon on tax deductibility.'

Cover story: Plant World.

"Sounds of the ocean upgrade...it's sounds of the antarctic icebergs cracking."

A friar

'Noise? When you've been married as long as I have, it goes in one ear and out the other.'

"I'm a pastor. My job is to speak 20 minutes on Sunday and listen the rest of the week."

Stork and baby

"The long prayer peek."

Things can only get worse...

"Sorry, I was driving under the influence of a bull market radio report."

"It's beautiful, isn't it? It will keep you safe."

Pallbearers sitting around radio: 'This just in! Tributes are pouring in for the legendary tenor Pavarotti, who passed away earlier today....'

"You'll have to be X-rayed, Mr. Jensen. I seem to be picking up Rush Limbaugh."

'Good Book?'

"May the good Lord bless this Town Council for the revival of our religious invocations. We thank Thee in the name of Jesus Christ!"

Santa hears mention of Christmas on the radio.

"You can subscribe to 'Ocean Sounds' for the low, low monthly price of...."

"Does this say 'Our Saviour', to you?"

"And now, here's Linda Blanton, our WJM deflation fighter."

'So, read any good book lately?'

"And he hits it, and the other guy hits it back, and the first guy hits it, and the second guy hits it back and-"

"Coming up on BBC Radio Four, I'm Dorries I haven't a clue."

'Can you quiet down a bit so I can hear the crashing of the ocean waves?'