Devout Driver Gifts

"It's beautiful, isn't it? It will keep you safe."

Team Leader

Cats on Board.

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

'If mum's not around, amber means...pedal to the metal, baby!'

'St. Joseph's Church,today's sermon, the road to heaven (free maps)'

"An object of love that you can get inside, totally inside."

"You have to let me make my own mistakes."

'Any stunt driving experience other than teaching three teen-agers to drive?'

'I'd like to think they contribute because it's the right thing to do, but I'm not above a short sermon on tax deductibility.'

Monks play conkers with crucifix

"The next time you have an 'emergency', have it on the roof like every other self-respecting bird!"

Speed limit 70mph and up.

"Thank goodness for rear-engine cars!"

'No, you don't get extra credit for a creative parking technique!'

A friar

"The long prayer peek."

"Accelerate forward into that brick wall."

'Good Book?'

Safety - Driving.

'I keep mine on my IPod.'

"Does this say 'Our Saviour', to you?"

'So, read any good book lately?'

Funky Auto Repair: 'Bad driver special: But first repair job, get 2nd repair job, half price'

Zap Energy Drinks!

'We may need to work on your emergency stop.'

"Hello! Go ahead, Syracuse, New York."

"Never, NEVER sit on top of the truck."

'Brakes! I said brakes ,Miss Medley. Unfortunately we don't have an anchor.'

The Off-Roading Commuter

My Smart Car keeps pulling toward the library.

'Okay. Where's the fire?'

'Jerry! That bus you just cut off says 'Olympic Archery Team' on the side!'

'For throwing spitballs in class, I am sending you to the principle's office. It's nothing personal, It's just a classroom management thing.'

"Where's the red cape, pal?"