Prehistoric Prose Enthusiast Gifts

"The key to a good story is to give the protagonist lots of challenges."

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

"What's a patent?"

The first car accident.

"If you're tired of stegosaur, go kill something else."

Jurassic Parking Lot

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

'Every night it's the same - always my turn to put the Bally Cat out!'

The discovery of asparagus.

Those Were The Days

Caveman has a good idea for the wheel.

"Daddy's working from home today."

"The invention of taxidermy."

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

If humans instead of dinosaurs had lived when the big asteroid hit.

"No - you’re right. It’s dumb."

Big Rock University. Guidance Counselor. I'd like to switch my major from hunting to gathering!

"I like it but does it get only the one channel?"

'Alphabet soup? What's alphabet?'

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

The First Kite

"I've considered portraiture, but everyone is so ugly."

"Look! Other people. We'll have to develop a foreign policy!"

The First Cone of Shame.

'We unfortunately had to compress our dinosaur area due to budget cuts. On the bright side, TyrannoTriStegoApatoHadroPlesioSaurodon Rex here is now the museum's most popular exhibit.'

Early man wasn't exactly enthusiastic about the development of language.

"Say, Honey, how about a nice salad for supper instead?"

"I'd like you to see an Anthropologist.''

'Dear, couldn't you spend part of your time actually hunting something?'

"Don't bother gathering carbs for me, I'm on the Paleo diet."

We never got anything done around here until we invented verbs.

A gift to complete the man cave.

'Why is it always me that has to put the cat out?'

'I'm tired of playing 'Rock, rock rock'.'

'Of course, I'm not one of those glamorous paleontologists who are all over TV these days.'