Prehistoric Enthusiast Gifts

"Whoa, someone's been doing some gathering."

'I didn't actually catch anything, but I do feel I gained some valuable experience.'

The birth of science.

"I don't have any yet. We just opened."

'We have one hunter and one gatherer... Everyone else is a consultant.'

"There—now I've taught you everything I know about splitting rocks."

'Now that we've learned to talk, we'd better establish some local community standards.'

'This may hurt a little.'

'Someday this will all be done by consultants.'

Caveman showing off wheel to unimpressed caveman with fire.

'Oh god, I've totally wasted my life.'

"I'm getting woolly-mammoth notes."

'Hunting, hunting, hunting!.. Just once couldn't you draw a nice gathering scene?!

"Wait! Come Back!"

Man invents dispute resolution.

"You two have done very well hunting and gathering...perhaps it's time for some investment planning?"

"Not just rocks--tools!"

'Kitchen's small, but I love the granite countertops.'

REALTY, 'It's a fixer-upper.'

"Enough with the low-hanging fruit. How about some slow-moving meat?"

'We're the largest, strongest things on this planet! Why change now?'

'Well? - Now that we've learned to talk, aren't you going to admit that you were wrong?'

Early Blood Draw

'Well, if it isn't the missing link!'

The First Multi-Tasker.

'The hunting and gathering has worked for you, but as you get older, it;s time to switch to dividend-yielding bonds.'

'Game shows were popular right from the start ? especially when the game won.'

"We're working on reading readiness."

'Yes, I agree that equal pay for equal work is an idea that we should DEFINITELY think about.'

'The wheel!..Just what I wanted!'

'I just love the way you've done the stone cladding.'

'It's time we talked about the facts of life, Son... Any theories?'

'And don't you touch that mammoth in the freezer. I'm saving it for company.'

"Now what?"

'Did you try rebooting?'