Prehistoric Parody Gifts

I try to stick to hunting. My wife makes me take a list when I'm gathering.

"If you're tired of stegosaur, go kill something else."

Jurassic Parking Lot

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

"Ooh look Derek. A shooting star. Quick make a wish"

'I can't wait 'til hunting is googling and gathering is calling out for delivery.'

"While you were working on fire, I was working on my satellite. Once we figure out how to launch it into the heavens, other inventions will follow, like phones, GPS, weather predictions. . ."

Ideas Ahead of their Time

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

"Take that mammoth back. It's not 'wooly' enough."

"I've considered portraiture, but everyone is so ugly."

'I made your favorite for dinner — pterodactyl nuggets!'

Early on-line shopping

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

"Don't bother gathering carbs for me, I'm on the Paleo diet."

A prehistoric football match.

'You can't believe a word he says since he invented the subjunctive.'

'The hard part will be writing the tutorial.'

Hedgehog holding sign saying 'the end is nigh' as man invents the wheel.

"Is it free-range?"

'I'm telling you Dad: Walking upright and using tools is the way of the future...'

Carbon Dating

'Gentlemen, invent your engines.'

"Google Earth must have a defective camera. There's a big red spot above our location."

'...You're just not built to take selfies.'

"I think I know what your problem is. Not enough PR."

'I just evolved the opposable thumb, and I've already got carpal-tunnel syndrome!'

"I gotta flat. Can you get the spear out of the trunk."

'We had seven gloriously happy years together, and then he learned how to talk.'

"I like the idea, but is it scaleable?"

"Hey Arthur, check it out, a shooting star. That's a sure sign of luck, my friend."

'Do you mind if I share your post on my wall?'

'Yea, I give away the fire. I make my money on insurance.'