Prehistoric Capitalist Gifts

"I've given up hunter-gathering. I now gather hunters and hire them out."

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

'Well, there's something you don't see every day'

The first car accident.

Ancient Racing

"Any questions?"

"I don’t know what your invention’s called, but it’s really irritating."

Caveman's dog with head outside car window.

"Cash, Jordan. That's what separates man from the apes."

"Wheel, schmeel—check these babies out!"

The discovery of asparagus.

'This will be great for chase scenes.'

"Oh boy charades! I love charades! Something big? Is it a bird? It's sharp! Behind? Above?"

Those Were The Days

"Or we could tally the sheep like this."

The man who invented the wheel/The man who patented the wheel.

The Evolution Of Man.

'We need to have a shake-up!'

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

'Look, Dad! -- I taught Shep to walk on his hind legs!'

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

The First Cone of Shame.

"I told you a firecracker behind his back didn't seem like a good idea!"

'When do they learn to stand upright?'

The First Sentence Fragment: 'Hey, don't -'

'My father is very hard to communicate with ? he only knows nouns and interjections.'

Early accounting scandals.

"Plagiarist!"

The invention of the wheel and the axel.

'Of course, I'm not one of those glamorous paleontologists who are all over TV these days.'

"I think your going to need a business plan."

A caveman rubs two sticks together and gets a computer.

'I'm tired of playing 'Rock, rock rock'.'

'Why is it always me that has to put the cat out?'