Pregnancy Scare Gifts

'Well, Mrs.Gurkemiller...Either your female cycle has turned to European summer time, or you're pregnant.'

'So that's two Pinot Grigios and a Baby Sham. We hope.'

'Yes, my period is three weeks late.'

Cry babies.

The Baby Walker

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

Pregnant lady being greeted by foetus.

TAP TAP TAP TAP

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

'I believe we've located the cause of your back problem, Mrs. Kangaroo.'

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

"Remember, pregnancy is like taking an exciting thrill ride at an amusement park only the seats are larger."

"Force quit! Force quit! Force quit!!"

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

"Will you be putting her in day care or bringing her up artisanally?"

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

"Have you and Tim picked out a name for the career obstacle yet?"

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

A little bird told me...

31. 19. 55.7.

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."