Pregnant Wife Gifts

'Hold it!'

Cry babies.

The Baby Walker

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

Pregnant lady being greeted by foetus.

TAP TAP TAP TAP

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

'I believe we've located the cause of your back problem, Mrs. Kangaroo.'

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

"Force quit! Force quit! Force quit!!"

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

"Remember, pregnancy is like taking an exciting thrill ride at an amusement park only the seats are larger."

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

"Will you be putting her in day care or bringing her up artisanally?"

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

"Have you and Tim picked out a name for the career obstacle yet?"

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

31. 19. 55.7.

A little bird told me...

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"