Expectant Wife Gifts

Hoping for a boy or girl?

The Baby Walker

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"Force quit! Force quit! Force quit!!"

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

"Aah! Bless! Look at him on his I-pad!"

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

Mr. & Mrs. Stickfigure are expecting twins.

Ask me about my litter! !

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

Pregnant women having a ultrasound done.

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

Mighty Man Of Justice Is Born

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

'A Caesarian? - But I want my son to be a natural-born citizen!'

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

The Complete Book of Baby Names. Oooh, what do you think of 110101110110? Isn't that cute?

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'