Pregnancy Pondering Gifts

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'OAP Licence'

Cry babies.

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

Pregnant lady being greeted by foetus.

TAP TAP TAP TAP

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

'I believe we've located the cause of your back problem, Mrs. Kangaroo.'

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

"Will you be putting her in day care or bringing her up artisanally?"

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

"Remember, pregnancy is like taking an exciting thrill ride at an amusement park only the seats are larger."

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

"Have you and Tim picked out a name for the career obstacle yet?"

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

31. 19. 55.7.

Fertility goddess. Nanny goddess.

Mr. & Mrs. Stickfigure are expecting twins.

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

A little bird told me...

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...