Pregnancy Punks Pillows

'I felt it put it's little boot in then!'

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

Maternity Ward

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

'Yes, the baby should arrive soon: Her nesting instinct is in overdrive!'

"'Routine examination' were the only two words in the doctor's mind when he placed the stethoscope on..."

'We're hoping to sell the naming rights.'

'Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?..'

Welcome to the uterus. Please be seated. Your mother will be with you in nine months.

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

'When will I start to look 'radiant and blooming'?'

'This is boring. This uterus could sure do with a fast forward button.'

"Six down, three to go!!"

"I'm sorry, but we're not an online retailer. We can't guarantee delivery in 2 days."

"At which trimester will I be able to communicate with my baby via text?"

'That's the most extreme linear nigra I've ever seen!!'

Maternity Wing Sign: Please Wait To Push

"After 9 months floating here, instead of a birth certificate I should get a diver certification."

Caution: False Contractions Ahead

The Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Could I examine your cervix?'

101 Placenta Recipes

Contraction Tipping Competition

"It's a birthing position, Dan. Quit yelling 'Hike.'"

'Looks like Tungor's wife's waters have broken.'

'Houdini's mother had an odd and difficult pregnancy.' 'Oh no. He's gone again!'

The Last Few Weeks of Pregnancy.

"What a coincidence. My mum is going to be a single mum and I'm going to be a single baby!"

'Two more months!...who's delivering this baby...the post office?'

We have a Royal patient with severe vomiting!

'Are you sure it's not out of your way?'

Pregnant Juliets nurse using police code to threaten Romeo

"If I'm not in the Hall of Fame by 41 I'm getting induced."