Pregnancy Planning Gifts

Frozen Sperm: Serve at Womb Temperature

Fertility Clinic - "Who wants to be mother?"

I have to admit, my knowledge of agriculture is somewhat limited... But before exploring your alternatives, I'd like to suggest less restrictive underpants... That, and maybe try to bike less.

Fertility Clinic Notice - Watch For Children

"You need to stop pressing the snooze button on your biological clock."

Cry babies.

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

Pregnant lady being greeted by foetus.

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

TAP TAP TAP TAP

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

'I believe we've located the cause of your back problem, Mrs. Kangaroo.'

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

"Remember, pregnancy is like taking an exciting thrill ride at an amusement park only the seats are larger."

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

"Will you be putting her in day care or bringing her up artisanally?"

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

"Have you and Tim picked out a name for the career obstacle yet?"

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

Mr. & Mrs. Stickfigure are expecting twins.

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'