Parenthood Planning Gifts

Man embarrassed at a fertility clinic.

I've decided to have a kid. I've decided to get my hearing checked. No, really. There are two ways to become a YouTube star. Either pull pranks on strangers

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

'He has your nose and my ears.'

Low-Energy Drinks

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

"Aah! Bless! Look at him on his I-pad!"

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

Mr. & Mrs. Stickfigure are expecting twins.

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

'This is a fine time to leave! What if the doctor delivers the baby while you're out!'

'We found you in a cabbage!'

Growth Charts

Baby Screen Time

"It's a boy, but that's a common one so don't get too excited."

"We have the exact same taste."

"I made the mistake of telling him that the world is his canvas."

'What did I learn in school today? You'd better sit down.'

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

"We balanced our budget this month!"

Young Gums

A postwoman delivers mail together with her baby who is riding in the letter carrier.

'It's only 6 AM, but I want to send the kids to Wally's house before his mother sends him over here.'

'There's a planet in my book with two moons! Imagine how much howling we could do there!'

"Skip the funny voices tonight—O.K., Dad?"

The Tunnel Of Love