Predator-prey Humorist Gifts

"I'd skip dessert. You'll be quicker on your feet."

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

"Gee, thanks pal."

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

'Jurassic Pork.'

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

"Too much concealer?"

'Whup - giant anaconda about to attack - quick Peg, hand me something to take care of it with.'

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"Scuba cow"

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

"Yes, one is a dog."

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

Hats and Food

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.