Prayerful Thinkers Pillows

'If it's alright with you, I'd rather not inherit the earth.'

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

'I made a hundred on the Spanish test. Gracias.'

Drive-thru Church

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

"This might take awhile, Lord."

Praying mantis.

"Amen. Please help me up."

'The only way anyone gets in is on there knees.'

'When you pray, does God have call waiting?'

'When you invented vegetables, Sir, did you know that my mother would be able to fit them all into one garden?'

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

God answers what He thought were worldwide prayers for peas.

"Bob, you've been warned before. You can't come to prayer just to gather gossip material."

"And please let Alan Greenspan accept the things he cannot change, give him the courage to change the things he can and the wisdom to know the difference."

"NO I DON'T THINK YOU NEED LEGAL REPRESENTATION WHEN SAYING YOUR PRAYERS."

Holy phone

'You've got plenty of time for a little prayer before you get to him.'

Various Birds of Pray.

"... and God bless my mom and her courage to call this food."

"I'm going to have to make this quick, God. I just ask that you watch over me during my double knee replacement tomorrow."

'This is the Rabbi's favourite.'

And cut down on the praying if you want the housemaid's knee to go...

"Are we allowed to pray?"

Put it in writing!

Regular Confession and Express Booth.

Trilby - 'May heaven go with her!'

"The Lord has heard your prayers and has sent me to say unto you, shut up about it already."

'Last guy up blow out the candles.'

How to Succeed in Business - Strategy 2: Build relationships at the highest level.

'No, we wouldn't want to ask God's blessing on something evil, but carrots aren't evil.'

"Each night Lily said her prayers... As the fleas and gnats do bite and gnaw my skin, so shall the worms eat and consume me, in the dirt and dust of the Lord's earth. Amen. And each night her prayers freaked her parents out."