Prayerful Pragmatist Pillows

Put it in writing!

"It's me, Lord, ready to spend a little religious capital."

Drive-thru Church

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

'I made a hundred on the Spanish test. Gracias.'

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

"Amen. Please help me up."

'When you invented vegetables, Sir, did you know that my mother would be able to fit them all into one garden?'

"And please let Alan Greenspan accept the things he cannot change, give him the courage to change the things he can and the wisdom to know the difference."

"... and God bless my mom and her courage to call this food."

'You've got plenty of time for a little prayer before you get to him.'

"I'm going to have to make this quick, God. I just ask that you watch over me during my double knee replacement tomorrow."

"Are we allowed to pray?"

'Last guy up blow out the candles.'

Trilby - 'May heaven go with her!'

How to Succeed in Business - Strategy 2: Build relationships at the highest level.

'...and if my taxes are cut, I promise to stimulate the economy.'

"Thirty years of accounting and I haven't had one 'happy accident.'"

Exercise for the end of the day...

"Dear God, what's the meaning of knife."

"I find it difficult to like him. He's too good at being humble."

'Your prayers may be monitored for quality assurance.'

'Mr. Turtle is interested in 'Single Prayer Health Insurance'...'

Pray now - Go later.

The Pee and Pray - for today's busy Christian.

'Do you mind if I pray just this once?'

"It's a troubling ethical dilemma."

'God, grant me all that I deserve. Amen'

California: In Case of Fire Break Glass and Dial A Prayer.

Business man at desk, "My family? Hell no, those are my clients"

"...He's just freelancing for Mammon!"

Amen

"We've always admired those literate prayers of yours, and it's our hope that you'll keep them coming even though you're dead."

"Now I lay me down to sleep..."

'Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change this things that I can, and the kind of money where I don't really care either way.'