Prayerful Economist Pillows

'...and if my taxes are cut, I promise to stimulate the economy.'

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

'I made a hundred on the Spanish test. Gracias.'

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

Drive-thru Church

"I was a stockbroker first, but when I realized how much time I spent praying, I figured, what the heck?"

'When you invented vegetables, Sir, did you know that my mother would be able to fit them all into one garden?'

"This 'laying up treasures in heaven' thing - Is it some kind of tax dodge or what?"

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

'For your penance, download five 'Hail marys' and ten 'Our fathers'.'

The church of our lady of wall street.

"And please let Alan Greenspan accept the things he cannot change, give him the courage to change the things he can and the wisdom to know the difference."

"I'm going to have to make this quick, God. I just ask that you watch over me during my double knee replacement tomorrow."

'I know we're laying up treasures in Heaven, but I still think you should talk to the Church Board about your pension,'

"Well. . . the cost of living was getting too high, so. . ."

'You've got plenty of time for a little prayer before you get to him.'

"Are we allowed to pray?"

Put it in writing!

Me, Alice and God

How to Succeed in Business - Strategy 2: Build relationships at the highest level.

"I'm not sure if this is getting through and I don't know what time you finish for the day...."

Exercise for the end of the day...

"Dear God, what's the meaning of knife."

'Your prayers may be monitored for quality assurance.'

'Mr. Turtle is interested in 'Single Prayer Health Insurance'...'

Answer to Prayers - NO

Pray now - Go later.

Sunday sermon: 'Dearly beloved, restore our faith in the almighty dollar.'

California: In Case of Fire Break Glass and Dial A Prayer.

'Do you mind if I pray just this once?'

Amen

"Now I lay me down to sleep..."

"We've always admired those literate prayers of yours, and it's our hope that you'll keep them coming even though you're dead."

"Please guide me on my journey...give me the knowledge and wisdom to make the right choices...and it would be great if these choices were on sale, too."

'Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change this things that I can, and the kind of money where I don't really care either way.'