Prayerful Pundit Pillows

'God bless and protect Karl Rove, who put the 'fun' in fundamentalism.'

"Lord, help the GOP reject missile reduction, hasrening the second coming and Armageddon!"

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

Edmund Burke's 'Reflections on the Revolution in France' haunts Dr Richard Price

'I made a hundred on the Spanish test. Gracias.'

Drive-thru Church

"I was a stockbroker first, but when I realized how much time I spent praying, I figured, what the heck?"

'When you invented vegetables, Sir, did you know that my mother would be able to fit them all into one garden?'

"Wake up! Brother Billy's finished praying."

The church of our lady of wall street.

"And please let Alan Greenspan accept the things he cannot change, give him the courage to change the things he can and the wisdom to know the difference."

"Are we allowed to pray?"

Put it in writing!

Me, Alice and God

"Dear God, what's the meaning of knife."

Exercise for the end of the day...

'Oh, oh - it's tomorrow.'

"I'm not sure if this is getting through and I don't know what time you finish for the day...."

"Don't even think of going over my head Brother James!"

'...and if my taxes are cut, I promise to stimulate the economy.'

Monk at prayer, "and take care, if anything happens to you we're sunk!"

'Mr. Turtle is interested in 'Single Prayer Health Insurance'...'

'Your prayers may be monitored for quality assurance.'

Answer to Prayers - NO

The end of the world is nigh - Get your specially adapted clock here

'If elected, I promise to put a chicken in every pot and The Book of Mormon on every shelf.'

'Yes, you have to say a prayer of thanks for the shrimp. Just a little one.'

Noah's Ark.

Amen

"We've always admired those literate prayers of yours, and it's our hope that you'll keep them coming even though you're dead."

"Sorry, the line is busy again. He and Joe Lieberman are still exchanging pleasantries."

'Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change this things that I can, and the kind of money where I don't really care either way.'

"If you could eat only one type of grass for the rest of your life, what would you choose?"

'I like going to Catholic school. I need to be able to pray before tests.'