Faithful Economist Pillows

'I know we're laying up treasures in Heaven, but I still think you should talk to the Church Board about your pension,'

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

'Ho,ho,ho, but can you be more specific?'

Charities should investigate whether published reports are 'Misleadingly Positive'.

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

That feeling when you know the preacher is talking directly to you.

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

"God works in mysterious ways."

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

"I was a stockbroker first, but when I realized how much time I spent praying, I figured, what the heck?"

'Okay - who leaked?'

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

"And the Lord said, 'You know, it takes a ton of money to run a place like this.'"

"This 'laying up treasures in heaven' thing - Is it some kind of tax dodge or what?"

'Is there something bothering you, besides sin, crime, hunger, that sort of thing?'

"No, you cannot have another planet. You only played with the last one for a week."

'I wonder if there's a message up there somewhere.'

'Wouldn't it be easier if the banks simply merged with the Inland Revenue?'

'I bet he gets a better rate of interest than me!'

'Have you got anything for omnipotence?'

Maybe I'd better write a thank you letter for the Last Supper after all

'I feel I owe a lot to my country.' - 'So, you haven't paid your income tax again.'

Wall St Baptist: 'Life is exactly like the stock market exchange and we each have our own portfolio to manage.'

Jesus wept

"I don't see why divine intervention and government intervention have to be mutually exclusive."

Clerical Training Course - 'Gentlemen, we are here to practise what we preach.'

"You will not gain any sympathy from this court by offering to give one-tenth of your haul to the Church."

'What can we do to reduce our spending?'

'How do we know YOU'RE not bearing false witness?'

"If we're doing such a good job of keeping the devil away, how come we have so many of these infernal machines around here?"

"Well. . . the cost of living was getting too high, so. . ."

'Pray for peace... or war.'

"OK, so you've told us what God thinks... but now I'd like to know what YOU think!"