Prayerful Wanderer Pillows

'The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit...Amen.'

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

'I made a hundred on the Spanish test. Gracias.'

'There is no past. No future. Only the present, which is changing every instant. Time is merely an illusion. Got it?'

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

Drive-thru Church

"Amen. Please help me up."

'The only way anyone gets in is on there knees.'

'When you invented vegetables, Sir, did you know that my mother would be able to fit them all into one garden?'

Church: Open Sundays

"Holy water, holy water...."

"Free why-fi.”

"And please let Alan Greenspan accept the things he cannot change, give him the courage to change the things he can and the wisdom to know the difference."

"... and God bless my mom and her courage to call this food."

"I'm going to have to make this quick, God. I just ask that you watch over me during my double knee replacement tomorrow."

'Maybe you just weren't cut out for enlightenment.'

"He's mad at God."

"Well, I finally found God. ... God is really good at Trivial Pursuit."

"Are we allowed to pray?"

Put it in writing!

Two words, my friend...Yak dung.

"@FBarnes12 favorited a prophecy you were mentioned in."

'Last guy up blow out the candles.'

Leaves Falling in Heaven.

Why god isn't listening...

Musings of a Marooned Mountain Man

Wise Man Souvenir Stand.

Trilby - 'May heaven go with her!'

'Thank you for calling the guru. If you want the meaning of life, press one. If you want the significance of the Universe, press two. If you want....'

"Dear God, what's the meaning of knife."

Delivery.

Exercise for the end of the day...

"Sure, he's ascended to a god-like state. But from what I hear, he's still on his family's cell phone plan."

"I find it difficult to like him. He's too good at being humble."