Prayerful Camper Pillows

"Now that's commitment!"

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

'I made a hundred on the Spanish test. Gracias.'

Drive-thru Church

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

"Amen. Please help me up."

'When you invented vegetables, Sir, did you know that my mother would be able to fit them all into one garden?'

"Really? You mean you’ve never smoked a joint?"

"I didn't know it was poison ivy. It didn't have any warning labels."

"Carol, our guests are here, along with the complete L.L. Bean catalogue."

"And please let Alan Greenspan accept the things he cannot change, give him the courage to change the things he can and the wisdom to know the difference."

"I'm going to have to make this quick, God. I just ask that you watch over me during my double knee replacement tomorrow."

"... and God bless my mom and her courage to call this food."

"Are we allowed to pray?"

Put it in writing!

Ants watching human invasion.

Trilby - 'May heaven go with her!'

'Last guy up blow out the candles.'

I can't believe we didn't hand out before

'They're praying the school doesn't find out that they've been pretending to be religious.'

Dial-A-Prayer and Dial-A-Mantra

"Dear God, what's the meaning of knife."

"I'm not sure if this is getting through and I don't know what time you finish for the day...."

"I find it difficult to like him. He's too good at being humble."

Exercise for the end of the day...

'Your prayers may be monitored for quality assurance.'

'Mr. Turtle is interested in 'Single Prayer Health Insurance'...'

'No offense, but your design of our pop-up may have a few flaws.'

Answer to Prayers - NO

Pray now - Go later.

'God, grant me all that I deserve. Amen'

"Look, Sister! We pray hard...and we play hard!!"