Prayer Pillows

"Actually, it's pronounced 'An-hel'."

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Put it in writing!

It was the answer to his prayers. Not the one he was hoping for, but an answer nonetheless.

'Put it in writing!'

"And please let Alan Greenspan accept the things he cannot change, give him the courage to change the things he can and the wisdom to know the difference."

'You must close your eyes during grace.'

'...and please, please, please, give me a chance to price to you that winning the lottery won't spoil me...'

'Lord, we thank thee for the bounty we're about to receive.'

Give Thanks.

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

Prayers For Agnostics

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'When you pray, does God have call waiting?'

'That's all for tonight, God. Stay tuned.'

"...and thank you for sending my guardian angel to protect me from that truck today..."

"What does God do with all that prayer data?"

'Please RSVP.'

And could you separate my hands...I accidentally super-glued them together...

'Keep up the good work!'

'Yes, I think God still would want you to say grace for asparagus and carrots.'

"99, 100. Ready or not, here I come." And so begins Bob's search for spiritual fulfillment.

'If it's alright with you, I'd rather not inherit the earth.'

Amen Corner: 'I say 'Aeemeen'...'Aeeemeeen'...'Aeeeeeemeeen'.'

'Happy New Year to you!'

Is this Seat Taken?

Bless this Turkey...

'For your penance, download five 'Hail marys' and ten 'Our fathers'.'

Monk

'I've been praying for a revelation, but nothing happens!'

'Minyan Man! You've saved the day again!'

'Bless this food we are about to receive, all except the broccoli, Bless the apple pie twice.'

'Number 1 on my fave 5 is Dial-A-Prayer.'

'Thank you so much! Now I'll have to start all over again!'

'God bless and protect Karl Rove, who put the 'fun' in fundamentalism.'