Daily Prayer Pillows

"Each night Lily said her prayers... As the fleas and gnats do bite and gnaw my skin, so shall the worms eat and consume me, in the dirt and dust of the Lord's earth. Amen. And each night her prayers freaked her parents out."

Grace For Flies

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

'Please make us instruments of Thy peace, starting with Bucky Sims.'

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

Friday

A child interrupting family prayers

"... And bless my dog, Penny, whose licks give me the strength to carry on."

'I made a hundred on the Spanish test. Gracias.'

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

'Minyan Man! You've saved the day again!'

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

Monk Prompt

"I was saying a silent prayer, but I must have dozed off and talked in my sleep."

"Life is very fragile so we should handle it with 'prayer'."

'It wouldn't hurt to say a few words.'

'And thanks be to the lord that we're going out to eat on Friday...'

'I'm a perfect little angel while I'm asleep. It's being awake that causes me trouble.'

'I'm just going to say my prayers. Any requests?'

"This might take awhile, Lord."

Praying mantis.

"Amen. Please help me up."

"Sure, I pray all the time... English test, Math test, History test...."

"You really shouldn't ask for material things like a bike. At least try for a Porsche."

"Are our prayers answered whether we have an iphone or an android?"

"Tia Carmen, I have a killer test tomorrow. Can you help?"

"I was a stockbroker first, but when I realized how much time I spent praying, I figured, what the heck?"

"Pray only for peace, love, strength and forgiveness. Never, ever spam the Lord."

'The only way anyone gets in is on there knees.'

'When you pray, does God have call waiting?'

'When you invented vegetables, Sir, did you know that my mother would be able to fit them all into one garden?'

'I guess you've noticed that most of these trespasses are reruns.'

'God, quick! Give me the gift of the gab.'