Prayer Philosopher Pillows

'When you pray, does God have call waiting?'

"The Lord has heard your prayers and has sent me to say unto you, shut up about it already."

Grace For Flies

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

'Please make us instruments of Thy peace, starting with Bucky Sims.'

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

"... And bless my dog, Penny, whose licks give me the strength to carry on."

A child interrupting family prayers

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

'I made a hundred on the Spanish test. Gracias.'

'Minyan Man! You've saved the day again!'

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

Drive-thru Church

"I was saying a silent prayer, but I must have dozed off and talked in my sleep."

"Life is very fragile so we should handle it with 'prayer'."

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

Monk Prompt

'And thanks be to the lord that we're going out to eat on Friday...'

'It wouldn't hurt to say a few words.'

'I'm a perfect little angel while I'm asleep. It's being awake that causes me trouble.'

"Sure, I pray all the time... English test, Math test, History test...."

Praying mantis.

What if Huckabee Were a Fundamentalist Hindu?

'I'm just going to say my prayers. Any requests?'

"Amen. Please help me up."

"You really shouldn't ask for material things like a bike. At least try for a Porsche."

"Are our prayers answered whether we have an iphone or an android?"

"This might take awhile, Lord."

"Actually, I think it's a cluster of SCUD missiles heading our way!"

"Tia Carmen, I have a killer test tomorrow. Can you help?"

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

"I was a stockbroker first, but when I realized how much time I spent praying, I figured, what the heck?"

"Pray only for peace, love, strength and forgiveness. Never, ever spam the Lord."