Pratchett Aficionado Pillows

'Hello, my name is Death'

"Alright! Whoa! Yes! More boiled food!"

The Brothers Grime

TV jester.

Apart from protest footage I forget what downtown looks like.

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

T-Shirt reads: 'Out of mind, I won't be back.'

"Let's do it, let's fall in love!"

'I let my merit badges do the talking.'

'He followed me home, Mom. Can I sign him to a five-year, $80-million contract?..'

"Someone should have warned you - he doesn't suffer fools gladly."

Whatever works for you.

"Mrs. Barnes is to have a complete head-to-toe – she's to be the victim in a bandage-instruction class."

Tea and Sugar Rationing

'My 434 novels are very similar to Terry Pratchetts apart from the fact that they've never been published.'

Lancelot put to the Test.

"Yes, you were found guilty of the same crime in 2004."

'During discovery we found five more things to bill about.'

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty by reason of a living Constitution!'

'Make sure you remove all the cookies when you're done.'

'It had a happy ending... the guy loses the girl, but finds a good attorney.'

Shy Man at Party

Romantic knight.

In the days before Newton discovered gravity...

'Remember, Son - You're never too young to litigate.'

"Well, then why don't the British just borrow Major Eliot from the Herald Tribune."

Obese man wearing a T-shirt with 'Too Big To Fail'.

Lemmings jump off a cliff wearing t-shirts reading 'I'm with stupid'.

Less successful 1990s T-shirt designs.

'I told you we took a wrong trail at the Oregon/Idaho border, but NO, you wouldn't stop and ask for directions.'

"He wants to know if I'm alone."

Messages on T-Shirts: 'I'm wrong always' and 'I'm right always'.

'Hell hath no furry like the lawyer of a woman scorned.'